Friday, January 27, 2006

How crazy can anyone get for the sake of love?

The question makes me grin..:)

It was a really weird feeling to have your ex-bf talk about his new love interest and share details on how the two of them fell in-love. It was weird for me to ask how he felt and how he wants to spend the remaining time they have before they part. It was weird that I asked him who she was. It was weird that he asked for my approval...

Just about two weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me.. for a reason I still can't accept till now. The moment he left our house, I couldn't feel anything, like I was numb and all I could think of was death. I was really ready to let go and end all my misery. I was thinking of commiting suicide that moment. One thing just stopped me from doing it, I forgot where I put the cutter I bought last Christmas!XD I don't know if it was a blessing in disguise that I am somehow have this STML once in a while but I was sure thankful I didn't do it. I realized there was more to live than having yourself stuck on a relationship that you know wouldn't go anywhere. I finally realized that he wasn't my end and I still have someone I could love and love me back : our baby.

Then again, I know I still love the guy. And honestly, I am still jealous. But all I wanted now is him to be happy. And I'm sure he is okay. I still consider myself lucky to have somebody like him as a father to my kid and a real friend. I'm contented with the new relation I am to him and vise verse. I just hope I could easily forget the past and move on..

*and for you girl,
..I envy YOU. :)